Please Tell me what you think about my essay, please be honest, i really need a good grade on this!

After a long day at school, nothing beats grabbing your electronic device
and playing a video game. At least sixty percent of Americans play video games on a daily basis. Although playing video games can seem as a harmless way to unwind and relax, they have harmful impacts on your physical and mental health.
First of all, violent video games have a bad influence on people. According to Emily Sohn, “Violence is one of the biggest concerns...Some parents and teachers blame school shootings and other aggressive behavior on media violence-as seen in TV programs, movies, and video games.” If children often play video games that are violent, or if children are drawn to violent video games, it may cause them to think that violence is ok. Or if that person gets angry easily, then the anger could turn into or lead to violence. Emily continues to explain that “people who are already aggressive...are more drawn to violent games and TV shows.” Children that are more aggressive and competitive than others tend to like more violent games.
Secondly, playing too many video games per day can lead to lack of sleep. According to the text The Violent Side of Video Games, you could develop “mean world syndrome” If you develop the “mean world syndrome” and it may provoke you to believe the world is a bad place, which could cause you to think you’re unsafe. Emily delineates, “I still have trouble falling asleep if I watch the news on TV or read the newspaper right before going to bed.” In addition, watching something with violence or playing video games with violence right before you go to bed is not a good idea.
Critics argue that video games are good for you, and inspire learning. Although, children shouldn’t be playing video games that teach violence. Children learn this violence, and start doing it, which makes others insecure.
Video games are not beneficial for children or their health. Violent video games cause aggression, unsafety, anxiety, and violence in reality. Children should be limited to the video games they play, and the kind that they play.

Answer:

I think it is great! I like how you used transitional words. I liked that you used evidence. But you need a claim. Like : I plan to prove that video games are harmful to American people. Or something like that. You have a counterclaim which is good but no claim. You also need a thesis. I will give you an outline and see if your essay fits into it.   It is what my English teacher gave me to use. You can use it or you don't have to, but I would ask your teacher if you could use it just to be sure.

Explanation:

Good luck!!

mproving Idea Development

Is there a clear claim?

Are examples and explanations used to prove the claim?

Is the main point of each paragraph clear?

Is each point adequately explained and supported with details from the text of the play?

Is each paragraph clearly related to the main idea?

Is there enough information to support the claim?

Are the counterclaims clear and logical?

Does the essay effectively refute each counterclaim?

Enhancing Organization

Is there a clear and purposeful organizational pattern?

Does each paragraph connect logically to the previous one?

Do transitions connect ideas within and between paragraphs?

Refining Word Choice

Are the words clear and precise?

Is the tone consistent?

Improving Sentence Variety

Are the sentences clear and direct?

Are quotations introduced?

Do any sentences have to be reread to make sense of them?

Are the sentences varied in length?

Are sentence beginnings varied?

Could any short sentences be improved by combining them?

Could any long sentences be made more concise?

Answer:

I think it's seriously amazing, to me you could add a bit more sophisticated vocabulary to prove you understand your topic and it also adds emphasize on the topic however it's really good. The details are superb.

How does Lady Macbeth change over the course of the play? Why?​

ENGLISH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Who else can see the ghost of Banquo?

A)Lady Macbeth
B)Ross and Lennox
C)All the other lords
D)Nobody

"Do you remember, dear Aylmer, about the dream you had last night about this hateful mark? she asked with a weak smile. In this passage, hateful is closest in meaning to-

A. Dislike
B. Disgusting
C. Disengaged
D. Discontent

please help me please will give brainliest to anyone ​

Can any one solve this please
?

PLEASE HELP 10 POINTS FIRST ANSWER GETS BRAINLLEST


When evaluating two different arguments about climate change that do not agree on the facts of the issue, what should you do?

what is the overall mood of the earthrise image?

In The Miracle Worker, what does the phrase "out of joint” most likely mean 25 used in paragraph 37 (page 346)? (A) to be highly upset (B) to be highly amused (C) to be tearful (D) to be a vegetarian​

What steps should you take to make sure humans have a positive impact on the environment ?

you are Rajesh of class 7F at Abu Dhabi Indian School, Al Muroor, Abu Dhabi. you have been absconding from the swimming classes for a month. your class teacher was brought into notice by the trainer. she asked you to write an apology letter, explaining why you did not attend the classes. write an apology letter in 80-100 words

Uh hey. Please don’t report it’s for school, I’m supposed to write a poem and this is what I have so far:

My skin
To me my skin is of gold
Shimmers in the sun ever so bright and glowing
But you don’t see that
To you, my skin is a threat
To you my skin means I shouldn’t leave to see another day
To you, my skin gives you the right to shoot me
To you, my skin means I don’t deserve to live
To you, my skin will never be accepted.....


Is it ok? Please be honest

Write a complete sentence that uses the word forbid correctly. thanks

ILL MARK AS BRAINLESS PLS HELP

Which of the following is a proper way to rewrite this run-on sentence?
I ran to the table dinner was getting cold.

How will you define unintentional injuries?

Give me a picture of what game you like to play?

what is one reason the narrator might be telling the story ​

What is being implied when the poet says, "You mat shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes. You may kill with me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I rise" A. She is saying that even though she's facing discrimination, she will still overcome it

B. She won't rise because of segregation

C. She is saying that you can talk about her, but words won't kill her

D. All of the above

UNDERLINE THE PARTICIPLE OR PARTICIPIAL PHRASE IN EACH SENTENCE​
Leaping over the hurdles, Cindy appeared as graceful as an antelope.

Making Word Choices
A hot air balloon floating in the sky.
Write one to three sentences describing the scene in the image on the left.

Is Mrs. Andersen justified in being overprotective?

What is theme of the poem the man he killed

Giving brainliest NEW QUESTIONS

3. Which of the following shows how the setting of Chapter 5 develop the theme "home is
where the heart is” (AKS 2)
A. Ponyboy reminisces about what things were like at home.

B. Dally comes to visit the boys at the church

C. Johnny doesn't want to go home because he doesn't like his parents

D. Ponyboy and Johnny keep themselves occupied by reading

_______________________ New York compared to her native Germany, photographer Lotte Jacobi nevertheless earned a small group of discerning admirers, and her photographs were eventually exhibited in prestigious galleries across the United States.

(A) She was less successful after she had emigrated to New York compared to

(B) Being less successful after she had emigrated to New York as compared to

(C) Less successful after she emigrated to New York than she had been in

(D) Although she was less successful after emigrating to New York when compared to

(E) She had been less successful after emigrating to New York than in

I NEED HELO PLEASERE

A thesis statement should___.
O offer a statement that does not reflect any opinion on the topic
O provide a number of specific facts on one aspect of your topic
give a specific focus and a viewpoint on the topic
o detail several viewpoints or perspectives on one topic
e

question tag
He has to fill a form,____?​

Which option is the best revision of the sentence?

Isobel was sick last weke so she missed to days of classes.

A. Isobel was sick last week, so she missed two days of classes.

B. Isobel was sick last week so she missed to days of classes,

C. Isobel was sick last weke so she missed two days of classes.

D. Isobel was sick last weke, so she missed to days of classes.